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I think.........

I think I'm quitting my job. I've been at PJC for 5 years now in a part time position, and it doesn't lok like that will ever change. The job that I was so SURE I had....well I don't. I found out by walking into the office to say hello, and met the women that was hired. 
What sucks is that it would of been nice to hear about this from one of my *dear* friends that work in the department...the one that encouraged me to apply...the one that was on the hiring committee....but no, I find out strictly by accident.

My cat is still missing. I'm not holding out much hope on that front. It's been almost three weeks. I'm still looking, visiting the shelter and so forth, but I'm not feeling much hope...

I've started sending out apps and resumes for a new job. I may actually end up working at Wal-Greens in a "very important position" according to the hiring manager. What position he didn't say. Maybe as an assistant manager...all I know is he said the pharm tech positions had been filled, but that the person he had hired for this position had backed out at the last minute. It's a new store that's being opened, and I'll find out for sure when I go back for a formal interview on Wednesday. 

On other news I'm on Spring Break this week....which is great, except as a part time employee at PJC I don't get paid, and I'm so low on funds from the move that I can't afford to go anywhere. So it looks like an entire week of sitting at home flipping through channels, and playing WoW....aside from an interview here and there and trips to the shelter....a whole week to wallow in my own misery.....shiny.

I planted some daisy's.....been watching them sprout. Lots of fun. Maybe by the time they bloom I'll feel better......

Life is like.....

A giant pimple on the ass of the universe. Painful, unwanted, and messy.

Ok that may not make sense. I don't care. It's late, this is my first post in forever and I had to start somewhere. And life does suck. I've been working my way up from this blackhole of depression for the better part of a year. I've dropped friends, lost interest in so many thinks I used to enjoy, and have ended up alone and working at a crappy job I hate.

I finally start pulling my way out. I've found a decent enough, affordable apartment. I've interviewed for a full time job at PJC which I think I stand a damn good chance of getting. I've been psyching myself up to start apologizing to all the people I've dropped like a leprocy infested peasant from the middle ages.....

and what happens? Loki disappears. He's been missing for days, no sign of him at all. The neighbors have seen nothing, no ads in the paper, no Loki at the shelter....it's like he just disappeared off the face of the earth. At least if I knew he were dead I could mourn and move on. Or if I knew he finally went feral, but was ok.....right now I'm just lost in space. 

I have to listen to my mother's pessimistic theories everydamn day. She's NEVER going to find her own apartment....I've acepted that. But she could try and be a little more supportive. And because of my own selfish actions, the people that I would normally go to for support are....not available. I could use a shoulder to cry on a little, but none of the ones nearby understand the need I have to cry.

I feel like a derailed train. I was just getting back on track when something comes along to push me right back off.
I've grown bored with this nick. So I created a new lj. The username is barbra_edwards
Find me and add me to your friends list.


I'm very happy!

I was just offered a better job out of the blue. And the best part is...its in the department I already work for. The only problem with it is there is a slight conflict on Monday and Wednesday with my night class, but I believe they are gong to work around that for now, and come May it won't be a problem at all because I'll have graduated.

This is very good news for me in so many ways. First, it proves that I am employable after all, something I had begun to doubt with the way my job search has gone. Second, it will be more money per hour, and more hours per week. I will be able to pay all my bills, and have enough left over to actually DO things.


Everyone keep your fingers crossed that the schedule conflict can be worked out. I so need this.
I'm bored with my life. I want a new one. Do you think they allow exchanges?

I want to do something new and different, something exciting. I just don't know what it is exactly, or how to start doing it.

Maybe I should go jump out of an airplane...I hear that's fun and exciting. Or bungee jumping...but I don't like rubber bands, and that's a really really BIG rubber band. I could go join a nudist colony, but I think I would be kicked out when I started pointing and giggling insanely.

Hmmm....ok I'm going to play Word Whomp.
I should fell guilty. But I don't. I did nothing over Spring break that had to do with school. Zero. Zilch. Nada. I had three papers I needed to work on. Not to mention a speech(no really...please don't mention it). I did do some spring cleaning, but that's it. I just wrote one of my papers this morning at work. I'll work on one more this afternoon, and get the other knocked out be Wednesday evening.

Anyone know how to write a speech? I need help.

So I'm guzzling coffee...writing papers at the last minute...and not really feeling guilty about it. Yup, I'm a college student.

So...what's going on in everyones life?

Spring is in the air!

And I'm spring cleaning. So far I've cleaned my computer(over 1200 music files alone) defragged, etc, cleaned out the closet, moved furniture around...now I'm going through stuff to see what I need to keep, return to owner(still have some books and a radio of Joi's) and boxing up stuff for a thrift store drop, and getting some organization into my life. After all of that maybe I can actually start on my papers.


Random Stuff

I bought a Khnum bookmark while at the Mummy exhibit in Mobile...actually Dawn bought it for me because I was broke. Khnum is the Egyptian god of pottery...since I want to take pottery again, I figure it can't hurt to have him on my side.

I signed up for a couple of personals sites. I feel the desperation soaking in. I don't really think anything is going to happen from it, but hey...what could it hurt?

I need another job. So that I can move out.

I have three papers to write this week. I haven't even started on them. I must stop procrastinating and write my damn papers.

I have a salamander living under my dresser. He's kind of cute. I keep trying to catch him so I can take him outside, but he hides. Blaze or Loki are going to end up eating him. Poor salamander.

I am going to eat some chocolate pudding and drink some water, and play Monopoly online.

I downloaded the Seti@home software and I am currently looking for intelligent life in the Universe.

Good night.

I need to get HIGH!

Ok, so it's spring break. I'm at home for the next week working on three papers and a speech. My nephew is also home for spring break. The idiots that are supposed to be working with him are doing squat. They show up, they sit and watch tv, give him his meds at 7 and leave. And maybe, just maybe, take him outside to play on the trampoline if he asks. That's it. So what the fuck are they getting paid 20 bucks an hour for? Joey got upset today and went ballistic. I had to calm him down, redirect him, while listening to whiney man complain about being hit. He's getting 20 bucks an HOUR! So After I get hit in the head a couple of times, bit in the hand, and pushed, I finally get Joey calmed down, redirect his energy to playing pool, and I'm talking to whiney ass. I state that if in fact they are more than baby sitters, they need to get a behavioral plan in place. He tells me that Joey is more comfortable in his room. WTF!!!!! Of course he's more comfortable in his goddamn room, he's autistic you fucking moron. The point of having people come out to the house is to get him OUT of his room, and his world and interacting with other people. If they are just going to sit here, they're nothing more than glorified babysitters, and I can get plenty of people to do the job for much less, and hear less whining. And after I got Joey calmed down I noticed him holding his shoulder oddly, like it hurt. I question whiney man, and he says that he 'tied him up to keep from being hit' and which point I go ballistic, tearing him a new one because Joey has a history of dislocations in that shoulder that nothing short of surgery can fix, and surgery is not an option because of his autism. Than I explain...calmly in the face of all that's happened, that Joey is autistic, autistic kids need a routine, and they get upset if that routine is not followed. They NEED a schedule. Not to be left in their room the entire time and only made to do something if they dare walk into the living room. His routine has already been disrupted because of school being out, and when he gets angry he needs to be redirected...stuff anyone with an OUNCE of fucking sense should know. And instead of restrain him and hurting him which would only make the issue worse, to WALK OUTSIDE AND LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR. Call the cops if you have to once you're outside to have him baker acted, but 99.9% of the time once Joey is left alone he will calm down because there is nothing to direct the anger at, and he's not going to hurt himself.

Fucking idiots. So now I have to sit down and try to get them to make a plan to work with him.

Or, and this is only about one of the idiots. Not the other one that gives him his meds at 6 even though I've told her several times that he gets them at 7. She is almost worse. Maybe. I know why he wants to punch them in the face, because I also want to punch them...a lot.